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john leap

We all feed, and upon us all are fed.

It’s been a rough couple of months. Work has been slow, and the future is uncertain. I’ve been scared about the future, and I’ve done a poor job of keeping myself refueled personally and relationally. This evening Christine and I got into an argument and I left home in a huff. But outside it was [...]

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Grief, Joy and Floods

I’ve been in a strange sort of shock all week. Last weekend I was in Nashville for a men’s initiation weekend when the floods came. We evacuated earlier than I would have, but it turns out we left just in time, and we still lost a lot of stuff. If we’d waited until I would [...]

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“Oh, man Jesus – I’m gonna get my ass kicked!”

“Oh, man Jesus – I’m gonna get my ass kicked!”

That’s my new favorite prayer. I’ve been using it a lot lately. I see the temptation coming and I start laughing and pray, “Oh, Jesus, I’m gonna get creamed!” And that invites Him in. And it’s working.

So here’s how I learned it.

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The Joy of Being My Father’s Passenger

The Joy of Being My Father’s Passenger

Earlier this week I joined my dad for a quick trip to Kentucky to pick up the daughter of a Romanian friend of Dad’s, who is in college and who is heading home to Romania for Christmas. I asked if I could ride along because I wanted the time with my dad. The ride down [...]

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The Good News About Pain

So, I’ve gotten a letter from the insurance company changing the requirements from three months of medically supervised weight loss to six months. But that’s okay, because my game has been to see how well I can point myself in the direction my surgery will force me, and the extra time will give me a [...]

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George Matheson – O Love That Will Not Let Me Go

George Matheson – O Love That Will Not Let Me Go

Sometimes when I can’t fall asleep I turn on the Christian radio station and endure dregs for the occasional gem, and sputter off to sleep in either grumble or grace. A few nights ago I heard this song, written by a Puritan named George Matheson in 1882. I thought it was beautiful. Say what you [...]

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Thoughts on Scaffolds, Truth and Identity

Thoughts on Scaffolds, Truth and Identity

From Thomas Merton’s Contemplative Prayer (page 23-25 in my version): Nothing is more foreign to authentic monastic and “contemplative” tradition in the Church than a kind of gnosticism which would elevate the contemplative above the ordinary Christian by initiating him into a realm of esoteric knowledge and experience, delivering him from the ordinary struggles and [...]

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Still Kickin’

Here’s a snapshot of me at the gym yesterday. I went again today, too. Didn’t die of that hypothetical heart attack either time, so that’s good. In the headphones, in the photo and again today, and for a couple of hours last night, I’ve been listening to Viktor Fankl’s Man’s Search for Meaning. It was [...]

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The Beginning

On the Saturday morning of men’s retreat weekend we recently staffed, my friend Dale and I were waiting outside the initiate kitchen before taking a group of men to an activity. “Dude, how’s the weight loss thing coming?”  Dale asked, checking in on stories I’d begun last summer and had followed up with in October [...]

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